That sounds like an ironic song title. Really though, a couple of hours before her Nottingham gig last week, Lady GaGa walked past me in the street, and I've been kicking myself for not saying hello ever since. I mean, how often does an icon, a true pop culture phenomenon, walk past you when you walk out of work? Never. I must therefore out myself here online for not realizing straight away what was going on.My initial reaction when I saw the diminutive lady in the very, very loud outfit walk up to me, make eye contact and than pass me while I stood there looking gormless, was to think 'Christ, that's one hell of an outfit'. The moment she passed with her minder, it sank in that the greatest pop performer of the modern age just looked at me from inches away and I didn't say hello. Arrrrgh!!!
How could I have mistaken her for anyone else? She was wearing an incredible luminous pink jacket, one white legging and one bare leg, stupendous heels and was sporting diagonally spiked hair. In all honesty, she is an extremely radiant person in real life. The photoshopped pictures and CG-polished videos don't do her justice.
So while I'm publicly kicking myself for not saying hi and sheepishly asking for a photo with her, I'd like to do it properly. It would have hopefully gone something like this:
Me: "Wow, hello! Your outfit is amazing!"
*Minder eyes me up and down*
GaGa: "Hi...thank you!"
*Minder calculates the best way to tackle me to the ground*
Me: "May I be cheeky and ask for a picture with you?"
*Minder twitches*
GaGa: "Sure, no problem."
Me (To Minder): "Could you possibly do the honours?" (Hands Minder camera I had with me)
*Minder takes camera and checks it over*
GaGa: "Are you coming to the show tonight?"
Me: "I'm afraid not. I'm saving up for *personal event*. I'm so sorry!"
GaGa: "No problem, little Monster."
*Minder takes photo*
Me: "Thank you very much indeed. (takes camera back) Hope you have a wonderful night!"
GaGa: "I'm sure I will."
Me: And our flat is next to the venue, so if you fancy a cup of tea and a bacon roll in the morning, feel free to knock."
*Minder whisks star away from creepy fan, although the bit about the flat was true*
In a perfect world I'd have suggested some clubs she might like and invited myself and my fiance (also a big fan) along for an evening of dancing and laughs, but I guess that there are a million people who ask her that a week.
Anyway, that would have been nice. As it was I was too dim to realize what was going on, and missed the chance of a lifetime. Ah well, I'll sort that now. Hello Lady GaGa - thanks for brightening my day!
Now, when is she coming back to Nottingham so I can get that photo? ;)
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