At our place, our Christmas shopping is mostly done already. This is thanks to the joys of the Amazon Wish List. While there's a bunch of things we can't get on there, it's been a delight to be able to just exchange Wish lists with folks and pick stuff we can be sure that they'll like and use. This has also saved us a ton of rage, as there is no rage like Xmas rage.
Suffering the ridiculous crowds and dawdling cretins that populate the planet is never a pleasant thing. There's already little enough patience left in people by the time December rolls around, and when you get stuck behind some imbecile with their iPhone welded to their head, you get the urge to stuff something early.
As unpleasant it may be, I would imagine ramming onions and Paxo into the anus of a moron could be a great stress-reliever. I might try it the next time someone grinds to a halt in front of me when I'm trying to buy caffeine. You don't get in my way when I need pop. If you do, you're liable to walk away weeping because of an oniony bum.
So, to avoid furious shoppers trying to invade you with root vegetables, ask your friends and family to make a Wish List on Amazon. You know it makes sense.